How I Found Out My Ex Was a Porn Addict

Disclaimer: This blog post is rated R and NOT intended for children. If you know us, I’m sorry in advance. And Aries, if you find this… You did this to yourself. LOL.

Now, I don’t have any hard evidence (pun intended), but just hear me out. Based on the facts and post-relationship discoveries, I think you’ll agree with my theory.

Backstory

I like to label myself a late bloomer. During high school, when my peers were getting it on, it couldn’t have been further from my mind.

Was part of that because I wasn’t considered attractive back then? Maybe. Either way, I had no sexual desires. I had crushes, yes, but the thought of doing anything sexual never crossed my mind.

After high school, I gained a bit more experience, but not that experience, if you’re catching my drift.

Then I met Aries at the start of my mid-20s. He came in with all this charm and charisma, properly courted me, and we started dating. That’s when things got… interesting.

He was very experimental. He taught me so much that I started suspecting things: maybe he had a mental checklist, maybe he avidly watched porn, and then came the final clue: my experience after him.

Evidence 1: The List

Aries wanted to try everything (excluding butt stuff, lol). Different positions, places, ideas,

it was almost like he wanted to reenact Fifty Shades of Grey.

He’d be working from home on a corporate call, and we were going at it like rabbits. Hair pulling, choking in the mirror, at his desk while working, in the car, shower, his cousin’s bathroom, anywhere.

He also always wanted to record us. At first, I was like, “Nah, I don’t want to get leaked,” but being inexperienced and wanting to please my man, I eventually complied. Whatever he wanted, we did. To be fair, I wanted to try a lot of those things too.

Here’s what threw me off: Aries had a body count higher than his age at the time. Mind you, he was a few years younger than me. So how could someone with so many partners still have so many “first-time” experiments with me?

It felt like he had a mental checklist, and we were working through it one by one. I couldn’t figure out how he knew so much or why he wanted to do it all.

You might think, “Girl, that’s normal,” or “I want a man like that.” And listen, I enjoyed it, every bit of it. But as a late bloomer, I didn’t know what was “normal” and what wasn’t.

Evidence 2: The Porn Watcher

One day, we were sitting on the bed talking, and I remembered how, early on, he’d sometimes hang up during our phone sessions to “finish.”

I asked, “Do you have porn on your phone?”

He said, “Yes.”

I told him, “Delete it.”

He said, “Okay,” and that was that. I never brought it up again.

I’m not the type to freak out over my boyfriend watching porn. Honestly, I don’t care, especially if it’s for learning or trying new ideas. Sometimes you just need to release, you know?

With one of my previous partners, we even watched together, which actually shocked him. As long as it doesn’t become an addiction or make me feel like I can’t satisfy you, I’m fine with it.

But keeping saved videos on your phone? That’s a bit much.

Evidence 3: Other Experience

After Aries and I ended, I didn’t sleep with anyone else for a year. Then came my new boyfriend, TT.

He was a few years older, with a body count just as high. And yet… he wasn’t very experienced either.

For example, he’d had balcony sex but never car sex. I’m like, What the fuck? How are these body counts so high, but the experiments so low? What are y’all even doing?

We were intimate a handful of times, and it was good. But the first few times were nowhere near as experimental as things had been with Aries. TT wasn’t as adventurous, and I’m still not sure if that was because we needed time to get used to each other (I definitely couldn’t handle too much at first, LOL), or if he just preferred keeping things simple. At one point, we had no choice but to switch positions because he would finish early.

“Your p— make me cum so quickly.” (That’s Passenger Princess by Valiant, btw.)

To be clear, just because Aries was experimental doesn’t make him “better.” TT was good too, even without wild positions. Maybe that’s why his body count was so high: he didn’t need to do much.

Conclusion

That’s when it hit me: I had gotten so used to Aries and his constant experimenting that I started wondering… was he normal, or was he just different?

I get that people have checklists of things they want to try in bed, but the constant recording, the wild fantasies, the “going all day even while working” energy?

Was he an addict?

I’ll let you guys be the judge.