Am I Meant For Destruction?

I recently saw the scene of Shark Boy and Lava Girl, where she desperately asks Max why he made her like that.

"Everything I touch I destroy. Why did you make me like that? I have more potential."

I felt her. I didn't know that scene from my childhood would resonate so deeply with a 20-something-year-old version of myself.

I destroy everything that comes in my path. Before it shows me that it's not out to hurt, I ruin it. I have to protect myself first. But while I'm protecting myself, I'm hurting others. It feels like one meeting with me will ruin them, and after that, there is no saving them because once I have them in my grasp, there's no letting go until I decide they can.

Maybe that's why I felt safer with you. You understood me because we share the same perspective. We have a level of toxicity that only you and I would understand. We don't judge each other.

But I don't want to be destructive. I don't want the toxic. I want peace, but everything I touch, I destroy.

Why was I made like this? Was I meant for only destruction and chaos? Am I meant to always withhold a piece of myself in case someone or something decides to swoop in and burn me first?

*Raw. No revisions.*